|
|
Post by Ellie Mankelow on Oct 13, 2012 2:03:41 GMT -5
DEAR DIARY, [/color] OCTOBER 13, SCARED.[/color][/font]
I'm lying to everyone. Everyone that I care about is getting fed lies but I don't have a choice. If they knew the truth, they'd just try to protect me. The truth is everywhere I go, I'm scared. My mother was found innocent which means the person who murdered my dad is still out there, watching me. He's started texting me making sure I realise he knows every detail about myself and my friends. He threatened them. The man who killed my dad is threatening to kill me and my friends. He's no bluff. I can't risk it. I have to leave. Kingswood isn't safe with me here. He'll follow me out of town and if he kills me, so be it. As long as they are safe, I'm happy.
I need to leave.
[/color][/font][/blockquote][/blockquote] ellie[/center] |
|
|
|
Post by Ellie Mankelow on Dec 12, 2012 9:29:45 GMT -5
DEAR DIARY, [/color] DAY ONE, GUILT.[/color][/font]
Just when things start to go back to the way they were, life has this way of throwing you a curve ball that knocks you down with a bang. You see.. I'm on the run again. I thought he'd believe that I was dead and just sort of disappear in a dark corner and never come out again. I was wrong and my mistake has put all my friends back in danger so I had to leave. Although, this time.. it's different. Sam Hudson, Charlie's older brother is on the run with me. We're on our way to Washington. Right now, he's out at a convenience store buying us something to eat while I'm in our room at a motel room we're staying in over night. Him running with me.. it's not about protecting me or keeping me safe or any of that romantic crap. He's doing this for Charlie but even so, the guilt is eating me alive. I have plans to lure him out and let him take me, kill me, whatever he wants to do with me. What if Sam finds out of my intentions and does something and gets himself hurt because of it? I couldn't bare doing that to him.. or to Charlie. Sam is to return home safely.. without me. Leaving Alex was hard. I don't think he trusts that I won't jump Sam's bones when we're alone together. Not that I haven't thought about it. Little does he know it doesn't matter, that was the last time he'll ever see me.
On a brighter note, it's my eighteenth birthday in a few days. I won't be with all my friends and my sister to celebrate it though.. I probably won't end up telling Sam either just so that he stays focused on keeping himself safe and nothing else. Hmm.
[/color][/font][/blockquote][/blockquote] ellie[/center] |
|
|
|
Post by Ellie Mankelow on Dec 13, 2012 0:43:36 GMT -5
DEAR DIARY, [/color] DAY TWO, WORRIED.[/color][/font]
Sam is still here with me. I don't see why he hasn't gone back to Charlie yet and left me alone. He NEEDS to do that. We're just stopped at a gas station to fill up the tank. We've been driving all day and we should reach our destination by nightfall. Finally!
I'm getting weaker though. The purging all my food is finally starting to weigh me down. It's becoming harder to do it in secret now that Sam is always with me and my appearance is starting to show that I'm not eating. My skin looks pale and thin. I constantly looked washed out and I'm losing weights in huge amounts which is exactly what I want just as long as Sam doesn't find out. But if he's anything like Charlie, he will..
[/color][/font][/blockquote][/blockquote] ellie[/center] |
|
|
|
Post by Ellie Mankelow on Jul 17, 2013 21:36:36 GMT -5
DEAR DIARY, [/color] JULY 15, NERVOUS.[/color][/font]
My urge to purge is going craaaaazy right now. It's almost college time and the thought of that makes me nervous. It's not really the whole college thing that is making me feel this way. It's the thought of seeing all these people. I feel sick to my stomach. I don't know who is and isn't friends with me or each other anymore.. ugh. Time to go to the bathroom. Bulimia calls.
[/color][/font][/blockquote][/blockquote] ellie[/center] |
|
|
|
Post by Ellie Mankelow on Aug 2, 2013 9:47:56 GMT -5
DEAR DIARY, [/color] AUGUST 3RD, NUMB.[/color][/font]
It's feels so weird to be writing about Luke Whinett again. Once upon a time, my old diary was full of his name and how much I loved him. The innocent girl naively swept off her feet only to have it ended it ashes. Just like the diary. I burned it. The diary, the memories, everything. All gone with flames. But guess what, diary? He's living with me. Who would have thought? I don't really know why I agreed to this. I guess I just knew how desperate he must be if he'd contact me and who knows, maybe he's a changed man now? I guess only time will tell.
..He got hotter.
[/color][/font][/blockquote][/blockquote] ellie[/center] |
|
