Broken Teenager; Ellie's Blog.

[Ellie Mankelow]

ENTRY #1

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ellielouisemankelow

HEARTBREAKINGMEMORIESFILLMYMIND

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I can't believe it's been a month since you last left us, dad. In so many ways the time has gone so quickly but it's also going so slow.

I had a dream about you last night. You were alive and you were so happy. I was dreaming that it was my wedding day and I was just doing last minute touch ups before I was to be walked down the aisle. Then you walked in in the room. You looked at me, and just started crying. You were never one to get emotional. I always saw you as my big strong daddy. But to see you crying over that, it made the happiest girl in the world. You know why? Because they were happy tears. It took every thing in me at the moment not to just start crying too. You took my hand and told me how proud of me you were. You said that I had a whole world out there waiting for me and you couldn't wait to see what I become. That just meant.. everything. "You ready, sweetheart? They're waiting for you." You said. Then, I woke up. Tears were streaming down my face and I could barely breathe. That's when I realised, you weren't just gone now. You were gone forever. You're never gonna be around to see me graduate from high school, get into college (hopefully), graduate from college. You're never going to be able to meet my fiance and absolutely scare the crap out of him. You're never gonna walk me down the aisle. I'll never got those happy tears. You're not gonna be there to see your first grand daughter or grand son running around the place, driving you bonkers. You're never gonna be there. For anything. All those significant memories that me and Abby both have.. you're gonna be missing every single one of them. Both you and mom. I don't have any parents to share my memories with. I have no one to make proud..

One month ago today since I saw you laying at the bottom of the stairs with that knife stuck in your chest. Bloody gushing.. everywhere. You were dying. I became weak in the knees, not knowing what to do. I knelt down beside you in a mountain of tears. You were still there at this point. Then you uttered the name I never thought I'd hear you speak of again. "Carol.". My mother. The awful women who ditched my sister and I and broke your heart into pieces. You had done the most romantic thing that's only ever seen in movies. You used your last breathe, to say her name. You still loved her, and I never realised. I will find her for you. As much as I hate her, I will find her. Because, you said her name.

Comments?:
[IMG]CHARRIE'S ICON URL[/IMG] [IMG]CHARRIE ICON #2[/IMG]
[size=1][blockquote][b]Name:[/b] charrie's name here
[b]Comment:[/b] whatever you have to say, here[/blockquote][/size]


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[Ellie Mankelow]

ENTRY #2

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ellielouisemankelow

BESTFRIENDSNEVERFILLWORKOUT

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Hey guys, So, this is just a quick little blog update to give the girls out there that follow my blog a bit of advice.

Never ever let the movies go to your head. You know the ones I'm talking about. Girl meets guy, they become best friends, fall in love, hide it from one another, get jealous, then end up together? Yeah those ones. Never let them get inside your mind and think it's a possibility that it could happen because let me just tell you this. In most cases, if two best friends do fall for each other it can end in three possible ways. One: One of the best friends fall for the other but the other doesn't feel the same way. In the end, ruining the friendship. Two: The two friends feel the same but are both too scared to do anything about it. Eventually one of them will get fed up with waiting therefore ruining the friendship. Three: They date. Sucky break up. Ends the friendship. Four: Ends well. Remains friends. Lol. That never happens. Do you see the pattern here?. Falling your friendship is just shit. Just, don't do it okay. No matter what you do from then on, is just gonna suck and hurt everyone involved.

And yes yes, you're boyfriend/girlfriend should be your best friend but that's different. I'm just talking about if you go from best friends to relationships or feelings or any of that type of stuff. It'll never be the same and everything will be ruined and you'll just end up hurting.

Comments?:
[IMG]CHARRIE'S ICON URL[/IMG] [IMG]CHARRIE ICON #2[/IMG]
[size=1][blockquote][b]Name:[/b] charrie's name here
[b]Comment:[/b] whatever you have to say, here[/blockquote][/size]


« Remember that SUPERMATTT!? @ Caution created this template. If you forget, I'll hunt you down and shove my gym socks in your mouth. »